Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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