I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this just has baby written all over it
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
