My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
