Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
