And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
