I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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