dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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