I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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