Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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