you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
