So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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