her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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