I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
