I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
