I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
