I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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