I want to stick my p in your. b.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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