She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
