Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
