Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I smell stomach acid.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
