Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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