Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
