i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
