Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My pussy is not your playground.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Randomize
