Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
that may or may not have been my penis.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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