I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
