maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
