Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
