I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
