There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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