Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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