I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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