There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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