I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
