WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
