Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
