don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
