I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
