I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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