Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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