Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she smelled like a LAN party
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
