3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
