I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
