i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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