During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
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