Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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