I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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