Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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