clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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