i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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