? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
