My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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