so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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