What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize