Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
