your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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