I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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