Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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