so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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