who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
