I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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