idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
