This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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