nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
